Log in

r u b y <3 [entries|friends|calendar]
f e e l i n g s

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

[11 Jun 2004|03:56pm]
Laughin is goodCollapse )

(Drop it like it's hawt)

Today was a better day. [13 Nov 2003|06:00pm]
[ mood | determined ]

West up woadie sons?! today was a much better day...normal school day...no fights..no fucking betsy...lol..I have practice w.her becuase she's on the same team i'm on...ugh..I can't stand her lol..but, aside from that everything is good..Mayra brough me home..ate mcdonalds..now I'm chilling...talk to u guys later..
much love.
I love Jean.

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Life continues.. [12 Nov 2003|08:20pm]
[ mood | Pist,bitchy,moody,down. ]

West up? well, I haven't felt down, bitchy, or moody in a while..today..I find myself feeling everything all over again..school was good..after school killed it..but, 3rd period got me pist!!..but, after school...Betsy was all over jean! I hate her..and I didn't say n-e thing so I wouldn't form a big scene but, I wanted to punch a wall or something..then me and Jean got into a semi-fight..it's all my fault..I walk away from him during the wrong times..I shouldn't do that..I shouldn't hug juan..I shouldn't talk to Yaniel..but, sometimes I need to talk to them...like today I was talking to juan and I started crying..he made me realize things..and how girls can be bitches sometimes..I felt like killing someone..me and Jean didn't even say bye to each other..I was being a bitch to him...I hope he can forgive me...god why do I do the things I do? why am I so scared of being in love w.him? why am i so scared of admitting it? why?! why...I don't know why I feel the way I feel and why I'm so scared everytime he say's those three little words..I love hearing em' but, they terrify me..well...then on the act. bus pedro kept hitting on me and I hated it...but, I got called "beautiful" by some guy..that was nice..then I got home and my mom gave me so much bullshit...I almost smacked her..she make's me feel worthless...I sent everyone to hell at my house and locked up in my room to hear music and ventilate..I really need to..I have to much on my head and I need to cry it out and punch some pillows..pretending for them to be betsy..or even my mom...today was drill practice...hard..but, easy..get me? well..I wanna go chill right now...peace in the west...
Mucho luv..
*Pinkie* #9!

(2 || Drop it like it's hawt)

SoO early!! =] I like the morning sun. [11 Nov 2003|08:25am]
[ mood | calm ]

Hey people west up? well, It's super early and I'm at my house waiting for Yadira *my blondie partner* to come pick me up for the veteran's day ceremony. :)I'll be there today from 9:45 till' 11:30 or so and they're will be some guest veteran's. Well, that's it for now..just wanted to let u kno...and maybe one day I'll post up a picture here of me in my Jrotc Uniform. ;] hehe.. --blonde moment-- well, buh biez..mwahz!!!!

HAPPY VETERANS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Drop it like it's hawt)

One more thing :0) [10 Nov 2003|08:13pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

In Honor of Veteran's Day if you have a family member who was a veteran please comment and honor them..leave their name..and a little *note* later on I'll put all their names together and make a little wish list. :) contribute to veteran's day!

Lot's of luv..

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

My day.. and Happy Veterans Day to all. :) [10 Nov 2003|07:51pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

West up woadie son?!
I'm chilling at home listenin to my play-list just kicking it...2morrow there is no school becuase of *VeTeRaNs DaY* but, I do have to be at school early for the JROTC ceremony being hosted especially for veterans day at woodlawn memorial cemetary. SoO enough of that... here is my day... Today: Today like any other day I woke up at 5:30 and I wasn't sure if it was monday lol I wanted to go back to sleep I felt so Jagged and sore..but, I got up and brushed my teeth..the routine....I kept the shirt on that I had from last night and just put on some Jeans and shoes and did a pony tail and dipped..I wasn't up for the pretty pretty make-up thing today...that's only once in a blue moon or on Fridays lol...Well, then I went on the bus and the morning was pretty good...I chilled w.my baby,Yadi,Rudy,and ma big bro..then I went to class...slept for a little bit b/c we were watching a movie which I already saw.. "The core"..then 2nd a test...which toppled my mind a little but, I think I got through it...then 3rd was silent reading...that was ok...4th...silent reading...and 5th reading b/c we finished the book speak in that class today..but, it was w/e becuase I had already read it..and 6th just take power notes and finish writing to my baby. :) in that letter I stated str8 out how my feelings were towards the whole "Betsy" situation..look for everyone who doesn't know...it's not that I don't like her it's that I don't like their "friendship" becuase of that note I read..and how everyone tells me that they had something over the summer..and I trust him..I just don't trust her..I don't trust to many people and I think that's perfectly fine..then again if he doesn't like the way I feel about that, then he can stay w.her...but, he know's better...I think we BOTH know better...I could've made a big show in front of her and just gone crazie but, I'm smarter then that...well, school is starting to climb up the ladder again..and I'm doing good...well, what else can I say? uhm..oh yeah then after school I just chilled..ate some good ol' ice-cream...practiced for 2morrow's ceremony..and talked to Yadi for a bit..she know's west up!...life is pretty good so far...and all the little obstacles I am slowly over-coming them..thank god...well...I got's to go call ma pookie pie...
Lot's of luv..

Happy Veteran's Day all!!!

(Drop it like it's hawt)

Hey Everyone! :] [08 Nov 2003|02:50pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Wazzabie?!?!? well uhm..late nite sunset was cool....today was the drill team car wash!! mayor fun homie G!!! lol :) me and Martha had a nice conversation...have u talk to her more..and me n mayra pinkie swore!!! dam everyone seems so "depressed"..I feel great but, bad becuase I can't help anyone..I love you all!! mwahz... Now I'm dressed listenin to music waiting for jean to pick me up to go to his brother's house for his niece's b-day. :) hehehe...well guys I g2g..this was just a quickie update!
Lot's of love..
from... PINKIE!

(3 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Update ladies and gentlemen. [05 Nov 2003|08:47pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Well, I'm not gonna say much cuz there's no point lol but, hey hey! I'm back and Sunday Nov.2nd was my 1 month anniversary I got white and pink roses and a card and not only that but, he gave my mom a bouquet of white and pink roses too!! que cute I gave him a teddie bear and a card...then we went to dinner it was cool and nice...Well, now I'm focusing on skool becuase I wanna pass these 2nd nine weeks so, I'm doing most of my h/w but, I couldn't do my science or algebra h/w today algebra is too hard man..I'm lost..well, at least I got an A for class participation...and I'm doing all my work in class..and talkin less...Well, it's official Alexis has gotten on my nerves..he talks to much shit he doesn't know..but, hey that's life for you...I g2g now but, w/e comment..sorry so short..

Pinkie Luvz Pookie!!

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Yesterday.. =] [26 Oct 2003|11:32am]
[ mood | happy ]

Hey journal,
What's up? I'm here at home on sunday....resting from a long ass yesterday lol..well, the day was ok but, then the night made it all better.... My Night Last night Me and my mom went to pick up Jean at his house and then turns out we didn't go to my uncle's house but, instead my mom gave me ten bucks and dropped us off at sunset...He didn't have money so, we were asking ppl lol and then finally he called his mom and asked her to bring him money and she did...so we went to barnes and nobles to wait...and then when he got the money we went to buy the movie ticket's to the earliest...most boring movie there was...which was "Rundown" with THE ROCK...So we went into the theatre and there was like barely no-one...So0 we got the TOP TOP seats...and just "chilled" lol..he went to buy a coke and some popcorn and then the preview's started bla bla bla..lotta things happened at the theatre...Then...we left and when we got out of the movie at like 11:30 and when we got out we found out that THE MARLINS WON!! and we hugged and kissed and the streets were mad crazy...we dropped him off and I got home at like 12:30..and then I fell asleep and my cell phone rang..and it was some lady asking for Juan Roman...my brother.. :) and I was like nah I don't know where he's at..and she's like...omg cuz were worried sick we can't find him..w/e hour or so later...JUAN ARRIVES! and calls me and we talked for like 1 hour and a half..I fell asleep at 2-3 hearing everyone banging pans saying GO MARLINS lol and that was my beautiful night....Me n Jean are getting married lol inside joke...well, g2g...today I'm going to his brother's house so I ironed my clothes and my mom is doing my hair right now while I'm typing..she's putting this conditioner thing on it....well...buh biez..MWAHZ!!!


(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

heii =[ [25 Oct 2003|06:43pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

well...today's been ok...a boring saturday..well, now I'm waiting for my baby to come...we're going to my uncle's house w.my mom..not exactly wut we had in mind but, Adriana sold out so we can't do n-e thing else..I'm real mad at her...fucking shit..well, I'll write more later..I guess all my time has been occupied lately a lot by school but, hey...I still love u guy's!
Pinky :)


(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Update. [23 Oct 2003|09:29pm]
Hey Journal,
Let me tell you about today. Today: I woke up in the morning wanting to go back to sleep..but, of course when you wake up at 5:30 in the morning every day that's just the feeling you get. So, I didn't know what to wear b/c I got lazy last night...so I picked out a pair of jeans and a pink,grey,black striped shirt and put it on with a pink belt and black shoes..good eh? then I did my hair quickly which mind you came out like shit! lol and waited for the bus...fell, asleep on the bus and finally arrived at school..chilled w.ma babie in the morning for a bit and rushed to our lockers...I wasn't late to first prd today!! that's a first...and I didn't fall asleep either! I did my work in all my classes and didn't fall asleep and for JROTC I got changed squads..finally becuase I couldn't concentrate being on the same squad as my b/f..lol and I learned column left and right a bit better.. :) then I went to lunch w.was str8 as hell I chilled w.Ashley and we sang lol..we are partner's in crime...saw Adriana..I was a bit mad at her today and still am a little because I'm really counting on her for SAT...(I've come to a very important decision which I will not post up here b/c ppl read this) and I don't want criticism...Then..in P.E. I played capture the flag and hung out w.Eli..she's a cool bean! wut can I say?...5th? ugh..got mad at Alexis..he's alway's saying something inappropriate..and I also got mad at Alex B. he's so disrespectful...then in 6th we played bingo and I won!! I won a butterfinger..a big one..yummie...then after skool..ate a lot!!!!! :) and did some h/w...then got a bit mad b/c of some-one..but, didn't let that bother me...today was a good day...a GREAT day in fact and plus me and Jean made 3 weeks 2day...Then, I got home and ate...I talked to Jean for a bit..and cried on the phone b/c we had an important talk..I mean I know I fall in love easily but, I'm not gonna take the time to explai wut I feel...becuase once again ppl talk shit...I just think that this is finally something right..Well..now I finished my LANG. ARTS homework..I did ALL my h/w..I wanna pass.. :) and now I g2g becuase I'm tired..I'm gonna go beddy bie...mwahz!

(2 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Fucking pinga. [21 Oct 2003|09:22pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Hey Journal,
Today was a normal day not much going on...same bull diff. day....I think Jean is a little dissapointed b/c (boy oh boy I made a BIG mistake) my ex b/f called me and when Jean asked me who called I said "a friend" and I lied...then I admitted it and he's like "I'll call u back" and b4 that when I told him he's like "that's fucked up you didn't tell me" and it's true it was fucked up. How do I say sorry? I really care about him a lot...TRUST me guys...I feel a lot for him..and I hate it cuz I fall in love to easily..I DON'T need ANOTHER BROKEN HEART. Comment..I g2g..

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

Starting over. [20 Oct 2003|07:43pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Hey people,
Well, I have a lot to say that I don't wanna say yet but, I didn't start a new journal and I'm keeping this one for the simple fact that there's too much of me here. I just wanna start over. I'm happy, life is great, and I couldn't ask for more. Just comment and that will make me happier :) I promise one day I'll tell you guys EVERYTHING that happened..I'm just not ready too now..but, I am in a new relationship and it's very good. We haven't fought at all...and I can't remember the last time I cried. Well, I g2g now becuase *Jean* (my b/f) is here to help me with my HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH project.
-Buh biez-
p.s if anyone want's to do me a favor and do me a layout it will be greatly appreciated!!! Madd LOve.

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

It's been a long time. [17 Oct 2003|02:15pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Hey..I have to update but, for now just know that I'm gonna write again! =] yey..and as a little update...me and Roger broke up like a month and a half ago..and um...I'm going out w.Jean... (pronounced john) and yesterday we made 2 weeks..high school is great..better then I expected..and I'll tell u about the rest later... :) bye bye. I have to change this layout..Me and Roger are SO OVER! hahah...

(2 || Drop it like it's hawt)

hOwdie. [21 Aug 2003|10:03pm]
[ mood | content ]

I haven`t updated cuz I qOt a new jOurnal it`z
www.weedweb.net/users/dOpeyzlady by the way dOpey iz rOqer and I`m babyqirl...everythin iz qr8t man..I lOve him..and he`z imprOvin a lOt..if yOu read diz rOqer..since yOu qOt maii jOurnal webadress..I lOve yOu babe..mwahz..
well I`m outiez.. I will be keepin diz jOurnal..it`z just nOt qOnna be updated as mCh..madd lOve

(Drop it like it's hawt)

Conversation [16 Aug 2003|08:55pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Thank you made me feel better.. *hug*

Babyqirl336: Blair I feel s0 bad..it`z q0nna kill me
tendollersk8bord: i made a comment
Babyqirl336: Yea I read it..thanx...buh, s0metimez I w0nder..I mean..I dunn0..I feel lyk tru shyt..buh, I kn0 that he kn0z I l0ve him..I kn0 it..he juss actz so0..ugh s0metimez..buh, then deep d0wn I kn0 he`z n0t lyk dat..buh, wuh if he styll l0ve`z "her" *c0urtney*? ayy.. :'(
tendollersk8bord: i doubt it
tendollersk8bord: guys in the beginning dont know shit,
tendollersk8bord: they wont be like "your the most beautful person" cause theyre afraid to say shit
Babyqirl336: Tru..buh, he`z alway`z try`n t0 qett me jeal0us talk`n ab0ut her and all da crap she`z q0tten him and stuff..and it`z lyk he must`ve been so0 in l0ve w.her dat I w0nder wuh he wuz lyk w.her..and why he`z so0 different w/me if dah`z da case.
tendollersk8bord: hes testing u, but like unconciency lol
Babyqirl336: o0ohz..so0 I sh0uld juss hang in there riiqh`?
tendollersk8bord: yea man
tendollersk8bord: if ur just like w.e, hell know that u dont caer and that u only care for him
Babyqirl336: I`m q0nna try..I l0ve diz quy..and n0w nxt sunday..I`m q0in bak h0me s0o we aren`t q0nna b t0qetha so0 mch..buh, I h0pe he duzn`t dump me 4 an0ther qirl in hiz new sko0l..and I h0pe he duzn`t l0se patience since it`z a "l0nq distance" relati0nship..even th0 I`ve neva had a pr0blum w.em` buh, da same shyt happened w.Jesus so0 I`m self-aware of the hurt it causes..and it suck`z..I mean I l0ve diz kid...dam man.
tendollersk8bord: i know how u feel
tendollersk8bord: u just gotta make sure theres trust and security, thats why u need to talk to him more
Babyqirl336: Thank q0d s0mewun d0ez..buh, wuh d0 I tell him?
tendollersk8bord: itll come, like dont plan what ur gonna say..
Babyqirl336: aiiqh`..I`m q0nna q0 see him 2m0rr0 and talk t0 hym str8 out at his h0use..
Babyqirl336: qo0d?
tendollersk8bord: good
Babyqirl336: aiiqh`.. :-) Thanx so0 much..I feel better.. *huqz blair*
tendollersk8bord: *hug* :-)
Babyqirl336: I`m q0nna q0 qet s0me rest n0w..I have a BIG day ahead of me 2m0rr0
Babyqirl336: q*niqht
tendollersk8bord: :-) ok feel better
Babyqirl336: Thanx.
tendollersk8bord: welcom
Babyqirl336: Sweet dream`z.
tendollersk8bord: u too
Babyqirl336: bye
tendollersk8bord: bye

(4 || Drop it like it's hawt)

What a suprise... [16 Aug 2003|08:28pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Hey people what's up? Dam its incredible how someone can feel so much and so much can happen in a day...wow..well..here goes:
Today: Woke up (Arlean woke me up) den I got dressed to go w/Miriam,Ash,Roger and her to Nami's...they picked us up..ate at Nami's..me and Roger were talking w/e bla bla bla...after eating we had a powdered sugar fight lol'z I left a handprint of powdered sugar right nxt to Roger's zipper.. :) it didn't look so right...then...they dropped us off at his house so we can do the 2nd book report that he has to turn in on MONDAY wen he start's skoolz...*note* I have to take him to school on MONDAY with his mom but, I don't want to cuz I'm scared...I mean school = girl's.. :'( what do I do? ahh..well..n-e way's..then we were gonna do the book report but, he was acting soo freakin stupid that I told him I wuzn't gonna help him and then he started kissing me and doing the little puppy noises..so I said ok..then I got mad again and he locked me in his room and put on the CD I made him for our anniversary..and he said oh I thought u loved me and I said yeah I thought so too...which I DO! but, ahh w/e and then we almost broke up...but, I ended up helpin him n-e way's..then we watched beavis and butthead.. ugh..his ex girlfriend bitch Courtney got those for him..and he was rubbin it up in my face..just like the teddy bear she got him and all that..god I hate her so much..then I left the room cuz Arlean called saying she didn't want us in the room alone becuase ppl would bitch and it didn't look right..that's BS that's just cuz no-one want's us together!! god..dam...it...shit....well, then afterwards...Frank *courtneyz dad* got there and he's all like sweety and bla bla bla and I wuz like god I hate u! (inside of myself tho) so Roger came out and we took a walk..nothing much there..no talking no nothing...left to Walgreen's with Joycelyn...=/ she told me Roger duzn't really love me...that if he loved me he wouldn't be mean to me and stuff...she's old..she's 40 something..and she told me he might have a new "love" by next week cuz he's only 15 and stuff..and she made me feel so bad...everyone does these day's I can't count on anyone I'm so frustrated..what do I do? dump him? I can't..god I love him...why? it's not love it's infatuation..that's what Joycelyn said..I need a shrink..I'm so hooked..and confused..then we got home again and his mom wuz bitchin at him and they fought b/c she want's to send him to a shrink type guy b/c he's immature and stuff..and there's boot camp brought up again... =( I felt so bad seeing his face so sad..I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him and it would be ok..but, I couldn't so now I'm depressed cuz I want to help him and let him know I'm here 4 him and I know how he feelz...I'm gonna call him...or write him a email..let's see 2morrow...2morrow is a new day..
I'm so full of today..I feel like true shit...comment if u even care..which u probably don't..no-one does..no offense to anyone today..I just feel so bad..then again..I Still love him..

p.s today I spent 20 mts in his bathroom crying..he duzn't know this though..but, that's how frustrated with myself I was..no-one know's depression like me...*sigh*

(2 || Drop it like it's hawt)

I wanna get drunk... [15 Aug 2003|01:39pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Hi Guys! lolz..well..I wanna get drunk..dead wasted..never get over my drunkness type of thing..heh...keep dreamin Ruby..well skool startz soon...I don't wanna leave Roger..will we survive? comment..help me! =( soo depressive heh..

(2 || Drop it like it's hawt)

My Night. [15 Aug 2003|12:37pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Hi Journal...well this was my night...
Night: umm...I woke up at 7 from my nap at 5 then..I ate lobster *Yumm* and thought about Roger *sigh* well..then we went to Miriam's house to eat...well not ME but, my sister..I ended up eating n-e way'z..lol...w/e..then me and Roger were STILL not talking.. =( so I came home..very frustrated..becuase I hate when we are like this..and I played w/the hamster and Mimi for a bit..then..talked on the phone..still sad...got online..he wuzn't on...waited for at least 2 hours and a half and he got on! I just IMED him saying "Look I love you don't ever doubt that happy anniversary and bla bla bla" but, he had his away message on so I put mine on..then..he IMED back like a hour later...saying "Hey" and that's it...nothing else since...well...that was it..I'll update later.. =(

(1 || Drop it like it's hawt)

ayy.. [15 Aug 2003|12:23am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Roger I love u babe..Don't ever doubt my love for you..your my one and only...mwahh....I will never be unfaithful to you...I love you alway's baby..alway's..

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]